Running Total Weeks 7-15

Ok, confession time - I have not kept up a regular running routine since the race in Nice (February!). I took a week off like I usually do after a big race, then March came through destroying everything in its path including my healthy habits. I didn't fall off the wagon altogether; in fact I have gone on several short and long runs, just not enough to justify weekly reports. I've kept track of them in my running journal but didn't think they were worth posting. So, this update encompasses several weeks' worth of runs and should get me all caught up. Why now? Because my next race (the three-country half marathon) is a little over a month away, and it's time to get back on the ball. My goal for the next six weeks is 3-4 runs per week, covering a minimum of 15 km and increasing my long runs each weekend. Here we go!

2014 Running Total, Weeks 7-15: 190.55 km

Confessions of a Loser #1

Two weeks ago I finished my third Biggest Loser competition. I lost 23.8 pounds during the contest, bringing my total weight loss (since September 2012) to 40 pounds.

my before and after shots from the contest

That's a lot of weight, and it's definitely noticeable - my face is thinner in pictures, I feel muscle developing under my fat, and I'm fitting into smaller clothes. What might not be so noticeable are the changes that are currently taking place on the inside. Over the course of the weekly weigh-ins I have come to a startlingly deeper understanding of myself and have begun to change my personal philosophy of health and wellness. They say that hindsight is 20/20 so I'm looking back over the last few months and reflecting on some of the things that have come up. Things are about to get real, folks. I've organized my thoughts into a series of confessions, realizations, and responses. I just tried writing it all out in one post and it's way too long, so I've decided to break it up into more manageable chunks. So without further ado I present to you my first confession in a new series I'm calling Confessions of a Loser.

Confession #1: I joined the contest because I wanted to win. There, I said it. I was in it for the money. Sadly, it became obvious within the first few weeks that no matter how hard I trained and how clean I ate, I couldn't keep up with some of my "competition" and I didn't stand a chance of winning first place. Midway through I lost my motivation and allowed myself to slack off more than I care to admit.

Realization: With the money as my sole motivator and the knowledge that I wouldn't win, I had a hard time giving 100%. I played the comparison game. Because I was so stuck on my own "failure" (I was still losing weight!) I couldn't see and celebrate the victories around me. The other contestants made huge strides in losing weight and getting healthy but I was so stuck on myself that I wasn't able to cheer for or be an encouragement to anyone. I also had a difficult time recognizing my own victories.

Response: During "Season 2" of Kandern's Biggest Loser (which started yesterday!), my goal is to be intentional about encouraging the other contestants, who are my colleagues, neighbors, and friends. I will also make a point to recognize my own victories even if they don't look the same as someone else's.

Have you ever been motivated by the wrong rewards?