Once again I am dusting off this blog to attempt another project - this time a writing one! Maybe I'll make it through the whole thing this time. I came across this challenge on Twitter, where a colleague of mine posted a link to this blog. The author is posting both a fiction and non-fiction prompt for each day of September and the goal is simply to write for 15 minutes a day. So, here goes nothing!
Today's non-fiction prompt: Write about why you are afraid to write. What is your worst writing nightmare? What is the worst thing that can happen if you send 15 minutes a day, every day for the rest of this month, writing?
I didn't used to be afraid to write. When I was a child, I was always told how creative I was. My teachers told me that I was smart, that I had talent, that I was special. Then I grew up and realized that I wasn't so special, but that everyone around me was just as good as, if not better than, me at everything that I thought I excelled at. So I gradually stopped sharing because there was always someone else who could do it better than me.
Then in college I had a professor actually try to convince me to switch majors so that I could focus on my writing. She may not remember me, but Jamie Janosz's encouragement, feedback, and support instilled in me a new sense of self-esteem that would later cause me to write for the Moody Student (campus newspaper), start three different blogs, and submit some of my poems to the BFA literary magazine, Sono Libero.
The recent influx of bloggers screaming for attention has only served to silence me once more. Over the last five years I've written a mere handful of posts that truly got people's attention, elicited responses, and sparked conversations. But now, it seems that I write purely journalistically, to keep my supporters up to date on what's happening in my classroom. I don't write poems, stories, or spiritual devotions anymore, just the news. I mean really, why bother? How could my meager attempt at expression compare? Who would want to read what I have to say when someone else says it more spiritually, more humorously, more captivatingly, more creatively ...
So now I find myself afraid to write because no one will listen to me? Because I don't think I'm good enough? Because I don't think I have anything worthwhile to offer?
Yes. All of the above, as pathetic as that may be. So, maybe this month I'll stretch myself and my fingers and gain a little of my confidence back as I work through this writing challenge.
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